amber dawn

5:17pm: long time no type.

yep.
i always seem to do this to my LJ.
i feel so bad when i come back to write...
oh well.

some is better then none, i guess.
anywayyy...
i need to edit my profile on here.
it says i still live at home with my mom & joe.
bahahaha that was like a year and a half ago.
woaaah buddy.

zack and i move outta the place we're in now, in like 2 weeks.
we're both excited to get our own apartment.
its a one bedroom...
and very spacious.

we just found out that zack got a new job too!!
hes leaving his current night-job,
and getting BETTER pay.. and day-time hours!!
soooooooo excited about that.

yeppp
i read my last entry, and it mentioned something about my glasses.
yeah i got those.
and my headaches DID go away :]

hmmmm other then that... i guess there are a few more updates.
my mom and joe are getting married.
tomorrow they sign the 'official marriage license'
and then next year in april, they will have the ceremony.
im the brides maid of course :]
my mom & joe have been going to pre-marital counseling
through their church, and i guess the pastor mentioned
that hes "ready for amber & zack whenever their ready!!"
bahahahaha zack and i gotta kick outta that.

theres no way im getting married right now.
1] too young. too much school... work... living... to get done before i do something like get married.
2] we will not be the same people we are now... in 5 years. who knows if he will even love me then.. or i will even love the person he will be then! we dont know that much yet...
3] i think it would be a wise decision to date someone for like 5 or 7 years, so you know who they are inside & out before you marry them.
it will be 2 years for zack and i this november... and i still dont think thats enough time.
4] im zacks first serious gf. i dont think he wants to jump the gun yet.

the one thing i have to keep telling myself no to, is a kid.
hahaha i wouldnt do it.. but theres a small part of me that wishes i could.
i wanna be finanically ready.. i wanna have the time & patients...
and i want a cute lil cuddly baby to stroll around at the mall, lol
BUT. the consequences for myself and doing that right now are not worth it.
dont get me wrong, if for some reason i was pregnant... id keep it.
but i'm not gunna go around trying for anything just yet.

so yeah, this is kinda deep for a first-in-a-long-time blog. lol
but i felt like writing, and i didnt feel like writing on myspace.

anywaaayyyyy
im gunna go now.
ill say im going to write more, but who knows if that will happen.
now that im done with all my finals at school, and its summer time,
i might have more time too.
but then again, i might not.
we will seeee.

buh bye now.
<3
a:d

5:17pm: pineappleeeee
mm yum.
soooo schools been goin well.
i have a test tomorrow and i hope i do well.
im going to megans to study.. but thats for a different class. w00t for starbucks studyyyyyy <3
anyway.. im getting my brakes done tomrorow, and i get my glasses soon.
i cant wait for my glasses.

MAYBE MY HEADACHES WILL GO AWAYYYYY!!
w00t.
anyway, other then that, things have been going well.
i gotta go though, dinner time for zackiepoo and i :]

payce nukka.
a:d

6:17pm: past few days...
christmas was amazing.
not stressful at all. i got all of my familys gifts taken care of, and i was able to see the people i love the most. it was great. i got a bunch of cd's i have been wanting, The Message, and some clothes. im so lucky to have such great family around me. but of course, after something that awesome, with all the family, friends and gift giving.. im completely tired. i can hardly keep my eyes open, but i know if i fall asleep now, ill be up and about at like 4am. NOT COOL.
so in the next few days, i need to go get my books for my classes. right now i only have 2, but im trying to get into this early morning math class. i need the professors permission... i dont have the pre-req. for it. soooo im hoping they will allow me INNNN!!! pray for me! the more classes i get, the better. i allready know i wont be able to graduate on time, but im going to try and get it done as soon as possible. 
im so siked for new years. its going to be so different this year. im going to be around all my friends, drinking, watching the ball drop, and watching the space needle. and im going to have the most romantic kiss ever.
unlike last year, when it was in a cop car :[
anyway....
im going to go myspace a little and listen to my musicaaaa

im out like sourcrout
a:d

9:25pm: im back.
this time im back just because i wanna be. i miss lj.
i miss all the icons :]

anyway. zack and i live in auburn now. with his uncle. i plan on moving out in june, into an apartment.
i would say a HOUSE but that would be soooo much work :[
and right now, with school and work, im not going to need more work on top of that.
sooo i dont know if zack will still be living with me or not.
but i will not...
NOT..
do the whole living alone thing agian. not only is it tough with bills and rent , but its lonely!!
crazy lonely. and i dont like being lonely. HELLO?! i'm amber. being alone is the last thing i want.
so yeah. everythings going pretty well. i cant complain right now. i got almost all of my christmas shopping
done, and wrapped. ive got like 3 or 4 more people to buy for. and if i have the money for it, i wanna spend some more on my mommy :]
she was explaining that at the house, the tree and the living room is like OVERFLOWING with gifts, and all but like 15 or 20 are for me.
thats a lot, i guess.
i havent been there to see.

HAHA oh yeah. and she was telling me that she thinks my cat, jack.. can read.
he chooses to open only the presents that say "zack" on them. and
i guess he goes for the tupperware containers that are full of kitty treats... thing is
is that the bag INSIDE the tupperware HASNT BEEN OPENED. so theres like
no way he can smell the treats. he likes to like knock the container on the ground,
and bat it around the kitchen. oh jeeze, i love that cat. i miss him like crazy. i cant
have him here, cause the dogs (jager and bear) will eat him. we dont want that.

anyway. i love this time of year. im so excited. all the christmas lights, and the giving. it makes me feel grateful to be around the ones that love me so much. not many people can say that they have known their best buds more then half their life. thats amazing. and i cant wait to see how far the friendship goes. im expecting it to last unti we are in our hot pink wheel chairs, drag racin down the halls of our retirement homes. yeahhh. i need to get in the shower. im not going to wanna take one in the morning before work. I NEED TO GET MY WINTER CLASSESSSSSS!!!!!
jeeze. im sluffin.

anyway
<3 a:d

9:30pm: wow

woah.

its seriously been forever. anyway, maybe ill start writing more... i dunno :] to be honest, i got a new myspace and the only reason im here, is cuz theyre doing maitinence(sp) BOO!!!! i got off work at 4 today, which is totally weird.
ive found that i need to go change my userinfo cause its all jacked up, and wrong now. a lot has changed!!! anyway, im out like sourcrout yo.

I HOPE MS IS UPPPPP! <3<3

10:56pm: time for bed
im at zacks again. thought i would drop a line about how we had a great weekend, and how im so tired from it!!! the races were awesome. the weather was seriously, the nicest ive seen in a long time. the sun was out, and there were like a total of 4 clouds. very nice. lol zack ran his "sexy lexy" as he calls it. lol wasnt the GREATEST out there, but i made sure to catch a few that were worse. anyway, its time for bed... i gotta help him with his matress and what not. its like broked. so i think we're gunna put the matress on the floor.

wow like you care.

good night everyone. have a great week. :)

7:27pm: been a while huh?!
pretty crazy, i kinda stopped with my LJ and i have no reason for it. anyway, i moved outta my moms house, and im livin on my own in kent. zack and i have been talking about living together, so i dunno when that will end up happening but we have been talking about moving to auburn in a bigger place then what i have, and one with a garage, cuz hell wanna work on his car, and "not get cold" he says.
i really dont know at this point if and /or when all this will happen, but i know:
1) i hate living alone
2) i feel like i cant get enough of his time ANYWAY :)
3) i need help with rent and bills as it is.
so its all good either way. other then that, im thinking about changing jobs. freddies was good to me, i guess.. but some of the people that schedule me, hate me... lol not really, but it seems like it cuz i never get hours. and i NEED hours. and i hate working there, cuz its stupid. i dont like dealing with people. its like they come up to the register with the mindset that whatever happened to them earlier in the day that pissed them off, and that if they end up spending too much money on food.. that its MY effing fault. i just dont like it. everyone is like really mean. okay, not everyone... but just about. enought to piss me off and not wanna work with people.
i thought about going to a place where i dont talk to anyone, but the people i work with. and like, i dunno, stock shelves or something. i just cant stand stupid people.

i know ill never get away from it tho. haha.

so yeah im gunna go wait for nicole to call me and see what we're doin tonight. we were suppose to go to PBR (pro bull riding) but we ended up running a little late. and then tomorrow zack and i are going to the races. for the like 2,037,840,983 time. YESSSSSS lol i love the races.

yay. <3

8:10pm: update.
he only thought about poking his eye ball out. he didnt actually do it. hes okay.. and he can still see. thought you would like to know.

<3 amber dawn

10:05am: Zack: if you want food during the movie :-P
worthxwaitinxfor: heck no.. thats an arm and a leg
worthxwaitinxfor: i hatethat crap
Zack: i think i'm gonna poke my eyeball
worthxwaitinxfor: 7 bucks for a hot dog? those things arent made of gold...

how flippin random. seriously. doubleyou tee eff?

9:31pm: bleh.
im just not motivated to write.

so this is it :) hehe.

<3 amber dawn

8:09pm: oh yeah...

I MISS SEAN MYERS!

i wish he would talk to me :( sad face to the max.

7:59pm: cuz im the next big thing
i got off work at like 7. im POOPED. oh man, im so happy im home. i dont wanna go back there tomorrow. and i need to send a email to my history teacher explaining that i need more time. with work and crap, its hard to get some homework done. and my rough draft that i gave her didnt look like it was really good :-/ oh well.. i did what i could. maybe i can get some help with her sometime. i shoulda done it sooner, but oh well.. im doin it now.
oh my goodness i need to do so much flippin cleaning. my car is a mess... my room is a mess... everything. my flippin LIFE is a mess! haha oh well.. ill clean everything up slowly. ill prolly start with my car... then my trunk (a disaster on its own)... then my room.
and with my checks coming everyweek, its easier to put some away for that apartment im lookin into. ally still hasnt gotten a job :( but thats okay.. shes trying to work at AE. woot for discounts! haha anyway, i cant wait! im siked.
and zack and i had an AWESOME weekend. we didnt do much of anything, but go out on saturday night to dinner and such. it was fun times. then we came back to my place and cuddled and watched some creepy show about people gettin shot, and the doctors takin the bullets out. it was gross... but zack loved it. haha i think he likes to look at peoples insides. what a boy.

<3 amber dawn

8:19pm: cause i am hanging, on every word your saying...
dinner. hungry. latah.

10:43am: so you know when your paying for your groceries, and you pay with a credit card or a debit card, and theyll look at the receipt (sp) and say "have a good day, mrs johnson!" or something, cuz thats what it says on the paper. lol zack and i went to safeway at like midnight last night, and we were gettin some mr pibb, starbursts, and gummy bears, and the guy at the register goes, have a good day mr. and mrs zack. hahahahahahahahahahaha oh man. it was so funny. its really funny, cuz i was just tellin zack about how i wear a ring on my left ring finger sometimes, just for the hell of it, and he got all weird like.. "we arent married yo" and im like "no worries, i dont wanna get married.. i just think its funny" and then that guy did that.. oh man. priceless.

i guess you had to be there.

i just got back from the dentist. i hate it when they numb me. yuck.

5:49pm: you know who you are.

"Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying "

This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters
But we never stood a chance
And I'm not sure if it matters
If you are the shores, I am the waves begging for big moons
I’m mailing letters to addresses in a ghost town
(your secret's out)

I know this hurts, it was meant to (it was meant to)
Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one
And it's mind over you don't, don't matter

This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters
But it must be said again that all us boys are just screaming
Into microphones for attention
Because we're just so bored
We never knew that you would pick it apart, oh
I'm falling apart to songs about hips and hearts
(your secret's out)

I know this hurts, it was meant to (it was meant to)
Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one
And it's mind over you don't, don't matter

I used to obsess over living,
Now I  only obsess over you
Tell me you'd like boys like me better
In the dark lying on top of you
This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters [x4]

I know this hurts, it was meant to (it was meant to)
Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one
And it's mind over you don't, don't, don't, don't matter

we're done. dont you get it?

8:19am: shes got that honky tonk... badunkadunk.
it snowed even more! oh man.. i dont think ill ever be able to leave. :( AND I HAVE WORK TODAY! it better melt by like 3 or 4... i dont wanna die going to fred meyers, lol.

<3

3:33pm: probably the coolest socks ive ever had.

my new scarf. i love it tons. 7 bucks.

me and my new scarf again :) it keeps me warm.. and that makes me happy.

my backyard right now. its beautiful.

thats it! those are the pics. i know that since my USB port is working again, ill be posting again soon. lemme know what you think! <3

3:18pm: stuff
its snowing again! i took pictures, but my usb port hasnt been working... i dunno why. anyway, i got my math test, and i got a 97!! yaaayy!! so thats good stuff. and i dont know that i will be over to go to megans tonight, like we talked about, cuz of the snow. its comin down pretty hard, AND its sticking. soooo we will see. i wanna go over there to have a girls night, but who knows now. i left my schedule in the car :( so i dunno exactly when i work, but i know i have saturday off. and other then a dentist appointment in the morning, i dont got anything to do!! i just know i have NO money... haha. anyway, im done talking.. i really wish my camera would upload its pics... sad face.

<3 amber dawn

YAY! i just figured it out. cuz im awesome. i will post an entry with just pics :)

12:08pm: one month!
it doesnt even feel like its been a month. it literally feels like we started dating like last week, lol. time flies when your havin fun.

work! i did really well at my training, and i passed. luckily, i get to start working on friday!!! wooooo. then i get saturday off, then i have sunday to work too. but i will be outta work by 4... so megan, that means you and me at night service.. fa sho. when i did my first LIVE day, i was sure i was going to screw up, and like have customers wanting to bite my head off and stuff.. but i was wrong. i did really well, i still screwed up a couple times.. but it will take some practice. i just hope they let me wear my "in training" tag.. so people know. i dont want them to think ive been doing this for years. lol CUZ ITS ONLY BEEN DAYS. anyway.. im happy im makin money, and wont put my mom through debt with my college. i will be paying her back.

its been a really long time since the accident, and i have NO idea whats going on with my car. i really want it fixed.. so who knows. soon i hope. they want me to take 25% of the blame... boooooooo oh well. we will get r done. but yeah im going to go see what i got on my math test i just took, and i will update with my grade. i think i did well.. i knew most of the answers... kinda guessed on a few.. but between us.. i totally didnt study.

:)

<3 amber dawn

1:44pm: i <3 my new icon
i think its adorable.

megan and i have been watching maury since we got home today. its awesome watchin all the people freak out and stuff... weve decided we're going to new york for a week, and going to a maury show every day. haha we are BOUND to get on tv.

i have work today at 5 till 10... and its my first LIVE day. so i will be out on the floor cashiering people. scary. i dont want to screw up. as long as people just do normal things.. and dont bring me rainchecks or weird coupons i think ill be okay. but who knows, i may screw up. i guess i could only screw up for like 5 hours straight... it wouldnt be like a WHOLE day. cuz that would be bad. i still dont know when i work after today, and i need to call and ask. i know that megan wants me to go to her house on thursday so we can watch the OC together, and go look at christmas lights :) and then i dunno about this weekend. i just know i need some gas, because im almost on empty again. i ended up finding 7 bucks in change a couple days ago, and i put that in my tank. its worked so far... but it can only last for so long.. lol.

well im doin some laundry, and i gotta go back downstairs with megan to watch some more MAURY. i think springers on next... yessssssss... payce.

<3 amber dawn

10:14pm:

sing with your head up, with your eyes closed. not because you love the song, because you love to sing.

11:50am: let it snow let it snow
let it snow

im so happy it started snowing here! its coming down real hard. and everythings becoming white. i have a feeling it will melt soon, but its sticking for now! yaaaayyy. its hecka cold too, so at least its cold with snow.. and not cold with rain. i went to school today, and when i got to my math class, the teacher wasnt in... so i wasnt able to take my math test. :( thats okay, ill take it another day. im not too bummed. haha. so now im here, chillin... literally. im waitin for zack to get here, its his night off... but its not mine... i have to work at 5. so im hoping that it kinda stops snowing now, so i can drive myself to work, instead of being dropped off... cuz if someone has to drop me off, that means someone has to pick me up.. at 10 tonight. which is stupid to the max. i just dont wanna get in an accident.

i still dont even know my schedule for work after wednesday. i only know what i have until wed. OOPS i should prolly call them and figure that out, huh?? lol i dont wanna goooo... but i need the money. reeeallllllyyy bad. like ive said before i need to start saving.. and to be honest, i had to DIG UP change for gas.. how pathetic. lol but i got some, and it got me nearly a half tank. so yeah, im going to go lay down till zachery gets here. leave me some love?

<3 amber dawn

5:33pm: but you make me feel, you make me feel like i do...

grrr...

im a little aggervated. i havent been feeling too well. im pretty sure i got whatever zack had. but mines just starting, and hes just finished. so boo. anyway, i just got done with my 8am-5pm training in auburn for cashier. oh man, was that long. we had a few breaks between, but it seemed to go on forever. at least its paid. but yeah, my feet are tired. i went and saw zack on my hour lunch, cuz it isnt too far from his house... and i bought him lunch :-D cuz im such a nice gf. hehe and then i finished the class. zack and i made plans tonight cuz he had the night off... but when i called him, he wasnt at home. so i just came home. my gas tank is almost on E, and i can pretty much say i have -980243789724390732450 dollars. soooo im pretty much on the screwed side. i dont get paid till friday. boo flippin hoo. im just not feeling too good lately. im irritated and crap. and i dont wanna be alone either... i wanna be around people, and its hard to be around people when your sick... and when your being a bitch lol :-). on the other hand... this weekend made up for today. so i think ill be okay. tomorrow i have school and then my 5p-10p training. i like the people in my class, so it shouldnt be too bad. ill just have to get some rest before hand. i wish tomorrow was friday.

<3 amber dawn

to zachery andrew <3 me:

"Don't Slow Down"

With a heart so pure
You could fall so quickly
But don't you dare slow down for me
Were it not for hearts like mine
Calloused thickly
You could fall so easily
(Don't you dare slow down for me)

You could take everything I have
Just don't leave my side now, don't leave my side
You could take everything I have
Just don't leave my side now, don't leave my side

Cause your words hit like a train and I can't ignore it
This moment could be our last
You fall in love and I'm running after
You move way too fast

But don't slow down
And don't let go
Hold me close now, lest I fall
They say I don't know how to love the right way
But you make me feel, you make me feel like I do

You could take everything I have
Just don't leave my side now, don't leave my side
You could take everything I have
Just don't leave my side now, don't leave my side

Cause your words hit like a train and I can't ignore it
This moment could be our last
You fall in love and I'm running after
You move way too fast

Cause your words hit like a train and I can't ignore it
(Don't slow down)
This moment could be our last
(Don't slow down)
You fall in love and I'm running after
(Don't slow down)
You move way too fast

Don't slow down
Don't slow down

Cause your words hit like a train and I can't ignore it
This moment could be our last
You fall in love and I'm running after
You move way too fast

Cause your words hit like a train and I can't ignore it
(Don't slow down)
This moment could be our last
(Don't slow down)
You fall in love and I'm running after
(Don't slow down)
You move way too fast

Don't slow down
Don't slow down

2:23am: club was fun.

i think we pretty much owned the strip club tonight.. cuz the strippers asked us to dance on the stage. so we did. and they asked us to give THEM lap dances. hah... we had a blast. im glad we went. it got a little weird at the end tho, because we became friends with them, and then they would strip, and i dunno... its a little different after you know like where theyre from, and where they work other then centerfolds, and i dunno. one was gay. it was just weird i guess. either way it was fun.

havent heard from zachery andrew since i left his house this mornin. i miss hims. im sure he'll call when he wakes up tmw or something. hes got even weirder hours then before. 2am to 7am now. crazy! oh well, i heart him all the same.

im sleepy. so imma put some john mayer on, and hit the sack. allys allready passed out on my bed... haha funny. i should get some shaving cream and put it in her hand, and then tickle her nose. HAHA im so mean. and delirious. goodnight.

<3 amber dawn

4:42pm: annas in town, woot woot... annas in town, woot woot...
i made a song.. and im proud of it. my "annas in town, woot woot..." song. ill have to sing it for you sometime. but yeah, anyway, her amy ally and i are heading to the clubby club to spend some time together, before she leaves again :(. im gunna miss her when shes gone.. i always do. i guess i dont notice it as much when im goin to school and workin n such, cuz theres so much goin on.. but when things quiet down at the end of the day, im like man, annas all the way across the WOOOOOOOOOOOORLD. okay maybe not that far.. but too far. sooo im about to leave here in like 5 or 10 mins to go to allys and hang with her a bit before we hit the road. i got my first fred meyers pay check. a whopping 37 dollars. it was only like 2 days pay.. but to be honest i thought they would just add it to the next weeks pay. meh, oh well. money is money is money is money. and its enough to get into centerfolds, and get some gasoline. oh man i wanna hear that song, gasolina... really bad.

i miss canada.

haha oh yeah, zack and i were talking about takin a trip, and we decided we're going to canada on... get this.... valentines day weekend. OH MAN. its gunna be so awesome. i need to start saving now. i need so much money... i wanna save up enough to get my own place, and have some in the bank if i cant make rent. college. i want a new car allready.. but thats cuz imma weirdo... sooo these paychecks better be a whole lot more then 37 doll hairs! but yeah i bought some totally rad socks today. a pair of furry ones.. a pair of striped knee high multi-colored ones, a pair ofpolka dot ones, and a pair of orange cool lookin ones. i love em. i cant wait to wear em. i took a pic of the knee highs, but my cam isnt working :( sad face. anyway, im gunna go now.

zack if your reading this, call my cellular before you head to work <3

that goes for any of my friends too!! love you guys.

<3 amber dawn